Everything Under the Son

My Dearest Carson,

Happy Birthday son! I cannot believe that you are having your fifth birthday today. I have no doubts that you are celebrating big...birthdays in Heaven must be the best! I bet that Angel Chorus can sing an amazing "Happy Birthday"!

Today, on this special day of remembering you, I thought I would list some of the things I love about you. And even though you aren't here with me, you can be sure I could make a list a mile long.

I love the way you make me smile. Just thinking about you makes me smile...I am so happy and blessed that God chose me to be your mother.

I love the way Natalie and Levi talk about you DAILY! Even though you haven't shared a room or toys with your brother and sister, they love you so very much. You have touched their lives with your never-ending presence as a brother guardian angel.

I love the way you used to kick in my belly. I vividly remember those kicks, and treasure them. Sometimes I just close my eyes and remember what those kicks felt like...precious to me.

I love the way you have made me better. Having children changes people, and having you changed me...you made me stronger.

I love the way you continue to help me keep life in perspective. Things that once would have rocked my little world don't seem so important now. You taught me what is important in life. You continue to teach me that family, and relationships, and love are important. You always bring me back to hope and to the promise of Heaven. I am thankful for that promise...one day soon that promise will bring us together again, son! I cannot wait!

I love that I can call you my son...my firstborn son. You live in our hearts every day! I think about all of the things a five-year-old would be doing, and I wonder what it's like in Heaven. What are your favorite foods? Do you love to play soccer, or are you musical? Are you Heaven's little cowboy? So many questions...but the most important thing is that I know you are happy and whole. What's not to love about living with Jesus!!

So Happy Birthday, my son! I love you yesterday, today, and forever. You are always on my mind, and in my heart.

Love,
Mommy

I've been thinking about you today. I love the traditions your family has to celebrate Carson and your remembrances of him. Love you!