Everything Under the Son

I have recently found this song and it speaks to me. I love it, and I wanted to share it with you all!





Enjoy!

Today is the day...the day my son spends his second birthday with Jesus. It is a day full of much emotion. Sadness as I think about how much I miss him. Joy as I think about how happy he is in Heaven. Pain as I think about the physical days of his birth. And I'd be lying if I didn't include that I have brief moments of anger...anger not directed at anyone or anything, just anger that he is not with me. I am his mom, you know.







Yesterday, completely out of the blue, Natalie says, "Mommy, I need to tell you something."
"Okay, Natalie. What is it?" "Mommy, I have one sister and two brothers." "Yep, Natalie. That is right." "Yep."







Today, we followed through with our family tradition. We wrote messages of love and birthday wishes on helium balloons and released them up to the heavens. This has been such a source of healing for us...for me. It is one way that I know Carson will NEVER be forgotten. I have to admit that is one of my biggest fears...that my son will be forgotten. That no one will ever speak his name because he is not here for us to see. But he lives in heaven, and he is my son. I am his mom, you know.







Through Carson's life and death, God has taught me so much. More than can be described on this page. Lessons of faith, hope, and love. Faith in what I cannot see. Hope of life in heaven with Jesus and my son. Love...for myself, for my family, and most of all, for my God. God has shown me that no matter how bad it gets, He will NEVER leave me. I am NEVER left to handle it on my own. He is always there, holding me safe in the palm of His hand...holding me close, never letting me go. He is my Father, you know.







So Lord, hug my baby tight tonight. Whisper to him how much his mommy loves and misses him. Tell him that I am coming...and someday soon we will celebrate birthdays forever, together. After all, I am his mommy!

Tomorrow is Carson's second birthday...his second birthday with Jesus. I wonder how Heaven is celebrating with him? Natalie is just sure there is cake and ice cream, and of course lots of balloons!



Check back here tomorrow as I share some thoughts about that sweet boy!



He has changed my life forever!

My sweet friend Amber has tagged me for a little meme. I am supposed to list seven random things about myself...this shouldn't be difficult since I am nothing it not random!


1 - I twirl my hair. Yes, when I am nervous or stressed, I twirl my hair, just the same way twirled it when I was a baby. At least I have opted not to suck my thumb, which I always did while I twirled my hair, back when I was a young'un! Maybe that is why my hair is SO CURLY!!?


2 - I am allergic to all kinds of laundry soap with the exception of Dreft. Yes, the wonderful detergent that most reserve for babies' clothing is the same detergent that keeps my entire family's laundry clean.


3 - We still use, daily, the TINY microwave Nathaniel got for his freshmen year at college. Yep...it's a challenge. It's just too hard to spend money on a new one when this one is still working! Someday, I'll have a nice, new, family-sized one. One that holds more than two corn-dogs at a time :)


4 - I LOVE me a good garage sale! It is something we love to do around here...going out on a Saturday morning, quarters in tow, hoping to find a fun bargain! We even keep a little list of things we would like to have, but can't buy new, in hopes we will someday run across the treasure at just the right price at a garage sale! Right now, the list includes a small deep freeze...perfect for storing Popsicles for those hot summer days!


5 - I sleep in earplugs at night...pretty purple ones!


6 - Antiques make me happy! I just did some decorating in my kitchen, and will have to post a picture sometime! I found an OLD antique screen door, and hung it up against the wall. Then, using the holes in the screen, I hung all of my grandmother's OLD kitchen utensils on it...complete with red gingham ribbon! Next to the door, I hung an old window, turned into a chalkboard. Adorable I tell you, simply adorable!


7 - I like carrot cake...complete with cream cheese icing. I think this is probably my most favorite dessert! Surely it is more healthy than some other options...right?


So there you have it...seven random things about me. The list could go on and on!


Now I am going to tag Denise and Amy H. Tell me some random things about yourselves! We're all waiting to hear!