Everything Under the Son
Because JESUS is my everything
Lots of Changes
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
There are lots of changes going on around here. I found myself over-committed and under-performing. Make sense? When I have too many things going at once, no one gets my best. Something had to change. Change isn't always easy, and sometimes God calls us to radical change. That is exactly what I felt like he was asking of me...radical change.
In an effort to give my best, some things had to be removed from my to-do list. Some of the things I have had to let go are truly GOOD things, FUN things, but I also know that there are different seasons in a woman's life, and not everything fits in every season. I am learning to be okay with that, though I will admit it is sometimes hard. Things like playing Bunco have had to come off the list for now - something I loved, but had to let go of for now. I have stepped down from singing on the praise team at church...a hard one to let go. I know God gave me my voice as a gift, and I have loved using it for Him over the last few years, but I also know that He gave me my children, and I truly feel like I need to be sitting in the pew worshiping with them right now. Maybe someday I can pick it back up, but for now, while my kids are still young, I will ride in the same car with them to church, and I will sit with them during worship, and I will be able to drop them off for Bible Class and actually know who their teachers are...sad, but true, I have had NO IDEA who their Bible teachers are this year! I have also shut down my organizing business. Adding a part-time teaching job has required more than a few hours of work, and has taken two of the three days each week that I was able to organize. I decided instead of doing a job half-way, I would just let it go for now. I have had VERY few customers in the last 8 months anyway, so I was in business in name only.
Add to that list the taking on of a part-time teaching job, as well as a daughter in Kindergarten (which is more work than you think!) that's a lot of change friends! I feel good about all of those choices, though there are many who aren't so happy with me and the decisions I have made. It's not easy to disappoint others, but the Lord has given me a peace about all of it, knowing that I am making the right choices for this season of my life. I am putting Him first, rising early for time with Him before the day begins, and I am trying to focus on the precious children He has entrusted to me!
There is one part of this radical change that has been most interesting. I have discovered that I had who I am wrapped up in what I did. I wasn't Anne, I was Anne who sings on the praise team. I wasn't Anne, I was Anne the organizer. I am wrestling with the emotions that accompany this revalation. Who is Anne without the stuff? Who am I if I am not these things? I am pressing in to Him, trusting He will guide me through the process.
I think the hardest part for me is the disappointment that others seem to feel, and the hurtful things that have been said. I am very much a people pleaser, and to know that others are not supportive of my choices, and are disappointed or angry, is a hard one. The only thing I can say is that I am sorry, but I have to do what is best for my family, and I would hope and pray for their support. I think maybe the Lord is using this time to grow me in my confidence and convictions. He knows how much I struggle with pleasing others and I feel like maybe this is another area of my life that He wants me to let go of. I am in prayer that I can change from being a people-pleaser to a God-pleaser! That, my friends, will be fabulous!
This post seems all over the place, and much like a ramble, so I will close out. I want to challenge us all to encourage and support each other as we strive to follow God's call in our lives. Sometimes it isn't popular or easy, but I feel confidant it will definitely be worth it!
In an effort to give my best, some things had to be removed from my to-do list. Some of the things I have had to let go are truly GOOD things, FUN things, but I also know that there are different seasons in a woman's life, and not everything fits in every season. I am learning to be okay with that, though I will admit it is sometimes hard. Things like playing Bunco have had to come off the list for now - something I loved, but had to let go of for now. I have stepped down from singing on the praise team at church...a hard one to let go. I know God gave me my voice as a gift, and I have loved using it for Him over the last few years, but I also know that He gave me my children, and I truly feel like I need to be sitting in the pew worshiping with them right now. Maybe someday I can pick it back up, but for now, while my kids are still young, I will ride in the same car with them to church, and I will sit with them during worship, and I will be able to drop them off for Bible Class and actually know who their teachers are...sad, but true, I have had NO IDEA who their Bible teachers are this year! I have also shut down my organizing business. Adding a part-time teaching job has required more than a few hours of work, and has taken two of the three days each week that I was able to organize. I decided instead of doing a job half-way, I would just let it go for now. I have had VERY few customers in the last 8 months anyway, so I was in business in name only.
Add to that list the taking on of a part-time teaching job, as well as a daughter in Kindergarten (which is more work than you think!) that's a lot of change friends! I feel good about all of those choices, though there are many who aren't so happy with me and the decisions I have made. It's not easy to disappoint others, but the Lord has given me a peace about all of it, knowing that I am making the right choices for this season of my life. I am putting Him first, rising early for time with Him before the day begins, and I am trying to focus on the precious children He has entrusted to me!
There is one part of this radical change that has been most interesting. I have discovered that I had who I am wrapped up in what I did. I wasn't Anne, I was Anne who sings on the praise team. I wasn't Anne, I was Anne the organizer. I am wrestling with the emotions that accompany this revalation. Who is Anne without the stuff? Who am I if I am not these things? I am pressing in to Him, trusting He will guide me through the process.
I think the hardest part for me is the disappointment that others seem to feel, and the hurtful things that have been said. I am very much a people pleaser, and to know that others are not supportive of my choices, and are disappointed or angry, is a hard one. The only thing I can say is that I am sorry, but I have to do what is best for my family, and I would hope and pray for their support. I think maybe the Lord is using this time to grow me in my confidence and convictions. He knows how much I struggle with pleasing others and I feel like maybe this is another area of my life that He wants me to let go of. I am in prayer that I can change from being a people-pleaser to a God-pleaser! That, my friends, will be fabulous!
This post seems all over the place, and much like a ramble, so I will close out. I want to challenge us all to encourage and support each other as we strive to follow God's call in our lives. Sometimes it isn't popular or easy, but I feel confidant it will definitely be worth it!
posted by Anne, 8:29 PM
7 Comments:
Even not feeling like "Sarah the teacher", not having a 'tribe' this year -- a place to be, a place I'm supposed to show up -- has been an odd, adrift feeling. I'm snapping out of it! :-) I'm proud of you for taking control of your family's time!
I have a post at my blog about a Southern Hills blog roll. Go check it out -- I would love it if you would include your name on the list.
I have a post at my blog about a Southern Hills blog roll. Go check it out -- I would love it if you would include your name on the list.
Anne, we love you! We miss you, but know you are making the best choices for your family. I hope you won't be a stranger! Love you!
Great post....I have been doing alot of the same things lately :) See you soon my friend!!! (You know for our semi-annual talking :)
Good for you! It's always hard to say no!
Anne,
Making those choices to say no can be so tough. You seem to be making a wise decision, even if it is not the most popular one. I am sure that God will reward you in your efforts to do what you feel He is leading you to do.
Making those choices to say no can be so tough. You seem to be making a wise decision, even if it is not the most popular one. I am sure that God will reward you in your efforts to do what you feel He is leading you to do.
I had the same feeling when I had to retire earlier than I planned from teaching for medical reasons--for 23 1/2 years I had been Pam, the Kindergarten teacher. I had to find out who I was. Then, of course, I was always "Heather or Heath's mom".
From the White House (Pam's)
From the White House (Pam's)
Great post, Anne! Sounds like you are making some wise choices, based on lots of prayer! I'm thinking I should take your lead!:)
Keep blogging!
Keep blogging!
