Everything Under the Son

Yesterday during the sermon, our preacher was reading through some verses in Matthew, and one of them stopped me in my tracks. Interestingly enough, the verse that caught me was not the verse he was focusing on for the message.

Matthew 11:37

"Anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

Hmmm. I don't want that to be me, but when I really think about my actions, I am afraid that is the message I am sending my Father in Heaven as well as my children. By not putting first things first, and spending the daily time with the Father, I am putting my children first. I am sending the message that they are more important. I love my children with all of my heart...and then some. I walked through fire to get them here, and you cannot imagine the emotion in the depths of my soul when I think about how much I love them, and what true miracles they are.

I allow Satan to whisper in my ear. "God wants you to be a great mom, right? It's okay to wait on that quiet time. It's okay to not read or pray today. After all, you are busy trying to be the mom He asked you to be."

Wrong, wrong, wrong! I can't allow myself to listen to that yuck anymore! I must put first things first. I MUST start the day with the Father, and He will provide ALL that I need to be the mommy He has called me to be. I cannot continue to let my children NOT see me in my Bible and on my knees DAILY! They must see that...they must know that GOD is number one, no matter what. And, I can't continue to break the Father's heart, as I put Him on the back burner time and time again. And I MUST teach my children that God is first in their lives too! It breaks my heart to think that they might put other things first because of the failure they have seen in me...I must put Him first, and teach my kids to do the same!

It seems each night as I lay my head to the pillow, I think to myself, "Man, I really blew it today. I didn't do right for my kids, but tomorrow I will do better." The problem is, tomorrow never comes...well, at least the better mommy tomorrow. The next day, time gets away from me and then I find myself repeating the same thing as I lay my head to the pillow that night, and the next, and the next...

So, I am confessing on this world wide web that I have put my kids before my God, and I am failing miserably at both. But I am resolved to do better. I long to spend that time with the Father, giving Him my best, knowing He will give me what I need to give my best to my children. Will you pray for me?

Father, take over. I want to give my all to You, and I know you will give me what I need each day to fulfill your calling for me as Natalie and Levi's mommy. I am sorry I have failed you, but I resolve to do better...TODAY! Amen.

What about you? Are you giving God your all? Is he FIRST in your life, or has something else taken over as first place?

The should-be-simple truth is: You can't radiate God's love until you have filled yourself with it. You can't hear what He is calling you to do unless you know the sound of His voice. Should be simple. So tough to do.

The Lord and I have journeyed through this thoroughly.

Thanks for reminding us about OUR Number 1 in our lives.

I go through the same daily struggle. But I do disagree about your "failing miserably at both comment" You are an inspiration to watch in both areas. I am blessed to be around you.

I like the messages version of this quote - seems a bit less harsh:
If you prefer your son or daughter over me you don't deserve me.

Matthew 10:37